You Should Be Dancing

Like, all the time.

Greetings from Guatemala!

We are here for a wedding, our third destination wedding in 10 months and what a wedding it has been. Antigua is beautiful, our friends are beautiful, 167 beautiful people showed up from around the world (but mainly DC!) to celebrate them, and the whole thing had a very strong Bridgerton-meets-Royal-Wedding-but-in-gorgeous-Ruins vibe, which is exactly what I was hoping for.

The dress code was “black tie” and it was amazing to see people take it to heart. There is an endless talk of good button up shirts and transitional basics and whatever else all over the internet - but dress us clothes are what clothes are all about. I wore a backless fringe Tibi which was my final purchase before my intended (and still in practice) year of no-online-purchasing, and Jason wore a honest-to-God tux and MAYBE I don’t want us to ever wear anything else again?

(actual photos soonish?)

But mainly, as with all weddings - the evening was about dancing. My friend sent out this reel a week before the weddings, and everyone understood the assignment. There was a dance floor and fireworks and then an afterparty IN THE WOODS with smoke machines and a playlist only people born in the first half of 80s could get fully behind. Someone asked me what of music I like to dance to the most, just as Icona Pop’s “I Don’t Care” came on and answered the question for me.

I spent my 20s DANCING (ALL CAPS) pretty much anywhere there was music (those viral-ish Rachel Sennott photos from Charli XCX’s birthday party are a pretty accurate capture of our 20s vibe, even if I am apparently more Rachel’s Dad these days), and my 30s dancing at weddings (and pretending to dance at things like Soul Cycle, which is a whole other essay) and then….

….. then there was this this creeping, not ever publicly discussed, dread that my dancing days were over. Or that dancing was over, period (the younger generation does seem to enjoy laying in beds and staring at scrolling digital content more than we did, and appear to be very proud of it). It felt like a perfect storm of a critical fun component of my life being sort of taken away by force majeures: the pandemic, turning 40 while being pumped full of hormones which made my body heavy and sluggish and my brain feel the opposite of dancing (read: crying), no friends IRL, no weddings in sight, everyone having small children all at once and not being able to leave them for things like New Year’s (for the record, my parents went dancing every NYE of my childhood, and it is a core memory of them as a couple).

I’ve never been one to dance alone in my home (though maybe I should try it? is it time to try it again?), but I LOVE being in a group of women (and, fine, men can come too), hands up, pop female vocal to scream along in the air, making it count. It is, and always will be, the most communal, mood enhancing thing I’ve experienced in my life. Last night, surrounded by mostly people I didn’t know up until 3 days a go, but who were fast becoming my best friends, Backstreet Boys in the air, a core sense memory of getting ready to do whatever counted as going out to “I Want It That Way” in high school uniting us all, someone screamed out “God, I just love dancing SO MUCH”and for a brief moment everything was right with the world (which, we can all admit, is quite the feat this year - where I can sum up the good news of last week as “The Hacks trailer is finally out”)

So, while I welcome this new era of weddings we’re in, and the dancing that is coming along with it (please refer here for my Serbian wedding playlist post in the aftermath of my brother’s wedding) I would also like to use whatever little influence I have over here to encourage everyone to find ways to dance more in 2025.

Here’s what we can do:

• take up dancing in our homes (I will report back on my personal experiment) or the woods or other private and public spaces, just because

• have parties which don’t involve just hanging out and discussing White Lotus , but moving our tushes to whatever Chappel Roan puts out next or whatever Diana Ross put out 40+ years a go - both work

• YOU KNOW, GO OUT (I will be the first one to admit, I am not sure where to do that these days, but I have faith in us)

• lets get some wedding reunions going (it’s about that time?)

• other suggestions?

If you’re going to comment, please comment with a song that gets you to the dance floor IN A RUSH, and I’ll make us a playlist.